9 Scenarios where it’s OK for Men to Cry

The Crazy Nigerian

I personally don’t like seeing grown men being reduced to tears but from my own little research I’ve come to realize that they are sometimes justified in doing so. Here’s why…

They’ve experienced their first heartbreak. You can imagine a situation where the girl you’ve been with from childhood suddenly comes up with some flimsy excuse and dumps you…for your best friend…over the phone…on your birthday. This could aptly explain why men later go on to have serial relationships in which they exhibit little or no sensitivity as they try to shield their emotions from further shredding. Recommended Crying Options:Trickling tears, Sobbing.

Their football club performed badly. I’m not a major football fan (never have been and never will be) so I’m still baffled when die-hard football fans take some football matches so seriously and go through the following process – Anxiety (when their club is playing), Frustration (when their…

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IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE

If-You-Love-Someone..

Shakespeare:
if you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she ever comes back, she’s yours,
If she doesn’t, here’s the poison, suicide
yourself for her.

Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
Don’t worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she doesn’t comes back within some time forget
her.

Patient:
IF you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she doesn’t come back, continue to wait until
she comes back.

Playful:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
*If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again, repeat*

C++ Programmer:
if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she= new CShe;

Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the
Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that….

Bill Gates:
If you love someone,Set her free,
If she comes back, I think we can charge her for
re-installation fees but tell her that she’s also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist:
If you love someone,
Set her free, She’ll evolve.

Statisticians:
If you love someone, Set her free,
If she loves you, the probability of her coming
back is high If she doesn’t, the Weibull
distribution and your relation was improbable anyway.

Salesman:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she ever comes back, deal!
If she doesn’t, so what! “NEXT”.

Schwarzenegger’s fans:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
SHE’LL BE BACK!

Insurance agent:
If you love someone,
Show her the plan ….
If she ever comes back, sign her up,
If she doesn’t, keep follow up with her and never give up!

Physician:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she ever comes back, it’s the law of gravity,
If she doesn’t, either there’s friction higher than the force or the angle
of collision between two objects did not synchronize at the right angle.

Mathematician:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she ever comes back, 1 + 1 = 2 (peanut!),
If she doesn’t, Y = 2X – log(0.46Y^2 + (cos(52/34X)) x 5Y^(-0.5)c) where c
is the infinite constant of no turning point.

Nowadays’ style:
If You Love Someone,
Set it free,
If It Comes Back, It is Yours
If It Doesn’t, Hunt it Down and Kill It…!!! OR
PERHAPS REPORT TO IMMIGRATION THAT SHE/HE IS AN ILLEGAL

If you love someone:
WHY IN THE FIRST PLACE SET HER FREE???
CARELESS IDIOT!!!

//

RANTALOT BACK – POOR AND FAMOUS!!!

fame

Dear Readalot

Fame is one those things that a lot of people wanna attain. People want to walk on the streets and be  acknowledged. “I know that guy na.” When you’re famous, people want to associate with you more. They want other people to know that they know you.

When you’re famous, all your distant cousins and family friend’s family friends want to associate with you. Fame is wild. A famous man/woman is always in the limelight. Everyone wants to know what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. For some reason, they start to think that even when you’re doing the regular stuff, you do it different from other regular people. This is why you find magazines with large spreads of famous people eating, swimming, laughing, making phone calls etc. like they do it differently. Famous people are like aliens.

Fame is different from fame. Fame in Lagos is diferent from fame in Ibadan. Fame in Ibadan is different from fame in Abuja. Fame in Abuja is different from fame in Yankee which is also different from fame in Somalia. When the legend, Michael Jackson, was alive, He was the perfect example of Ultimate Fame. Unborn children already knew who he was. People would cry and faint at his concerts. He couldn’t go out much because he was too recognisable and people would pounce on him.

In naija, the famous people are either very lucky or very unlucky. Nigerians don’t have time. If they’re not benefitting anything from you, they don’t care about you even if all your forefathers were famous. They won’t cry at your concerts unless somebody beats them. If you want to be real famous with all the efizi, you gotta pick a correct location. Don’t pick Nigeria.

In yankee, most of the famous people have money. The ones that don’t are richer than the average non-famous person. The other day, I heard about this famous American artist who went bankrupt. Because of her bankruptcy, she moved into another small mansion with a pool and the works. For her, life was hard. Many stars in naija don’t even know how to swim talk less of having a pool. Stars are like the next guy struggling for survival. You can enter danfo and sit next to a Nollywood actor or musician.
YOU: Bros hafar na? Na here you dey?
STAR: Na so we see am oh.

Anyone can be famous. Not anyone can be a star. If your face is on TV, maybe for one competition or something, everybody recognises you. When they see you on top of okada, they won’t know that you didn’t win the money. Their own is, “Omo I see this guy wey dey sing on top bike men. No swag at all.” It’s safe to say that in this case, fame is a curse.

Yesterday, two grown very famous men living in the States took to twitter and started insulting themselves.

GUY1: I have more money than you
GUY2: Issalie, you are owing everybody money and you’ll now be lying to everybody. Oniro osi.
GUY1: If not for me, nobody will even know you. Oniranu.
GUY2: Liar. Bully. Everybody said I won this tweet battle.
ME: O_o

These two men are men I can easily call Granpa and this kindof argument is one you would expect between teenagers. But still, if they weren’t very famous men with about 2 million followers each, nobody would have noticed or cared.

Fame has it’s pros, it also has its cons. But I personally think non-famous people are happier people. You can buy boli when you want, enter bus without having to wear face cap. You don’t have to look good all the time because nobody really cares and nobody expects too much of you. You don’t have to pretend to like people you can’t stand. If you diss someone on twitter, they won’t show you on TV. So if you’re not famous, be very grateful.

Yours truly, My Friend,

Rantalot (http://therantlot.blogspot.com)