WE FOUND LOVE RIGHT WHERE WE ARE…..

Pulled out by keyboard and switched on my computer system to write exactly how i feel about you, my Heartbeat, and words fail me.

Please allow me to borrow words from Ed Sheeran. It perfectly expresses my innermost feelings for you.

When your legs don’t work like they used to beforeIMG_20141128_111347
And I can’t sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

And, darling, I will be loving you ’til we’re 70
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I’m thinking ’bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Well, me – I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am

So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I’m thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are

When my hair’s all but gone and my memory fadesIMG_20141202_115743
And the crowds don’t remember my name
When my hands don’t play the strings the same way
I know you will still love me the same

‘Cause honey your soul could never grow old, it’s evergreen
And, baby, your smile’s forever in my mind and memory
I’m thinking ’bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it’s all part of a plan
Well, I’ll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you’ll understand

That, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
Thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are

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I LOVE YOU MORE EVERYDAY. MY HEARTBEAT

BIGFEM

The Story of My Wife by Tolu’ Akinyemi

BN-Prose-Tolu-Akinyemi-Feb-2014My wife becomes a mute when mad at me. She would completely ignore me, pretending not to hear anything I say and, getting her to say even a word becomes as futile as cooking a stone in a sieve. Her last ‘silence war’ lasted three full days. I noticed she had ‘outgrown’ her favourite dress, and I stupidly mentioned my observation. This time, it has lasted a week already, a whole week of weakening frustration, yet without an idea of what my offence is or how to appease her.

I have tried everything, so far, nothing has worked; not even the flowers I sent to her office or my sudden delight in making breakfast and dinner, every night. Everything was as futile as cooking a stone in a sieve with a candle. The seven o’clock news came on, when I decided to give it another try; perhaps, ‘the god of the news would look down on me with mercy. I joined my wife on the sofa and softly whispered her name, but she was too engrossed in the book she was pretending to read. I cooed again, in a romantic voice tinged with desperation. “Oluwakemi…

I had deliberately made her name linger on my lips. There was no answer. “Guess who was at our office today?” I said. I paused to see if I caught her attention. I caught nothing so I continued. “It was your friend, Ngozi. She wanted me to give you the 150,000 Naira she owes you for our wedding’s aso-ebi. Can you imagine dear? Two months after the wedding already, your friend is funny sha”. ’Kemi shifted a bit uneasily on the sofa but without looking in my direction or saying a word still. My eyes brightened at the little reaction. It was the best I had gotten all week and it encouraged me to press further. I might be able to get her into a conversation soon enough. “Honey, I bought a new laptop today, a great machine and for a very good price, of almost 150,000 Naira. You know, it’s a needed replacement for that old horse I’ve been using since we were at the university”.

My wife shifted again. I could sense she really wanted to say something but was holding it back. I kept talking. “I used the… er… money from Ngozi though, but I’ll surely refund at the end of …er…” A quick lightning flashed across the room interrupting me, but it took me half of a second to realise the flash was my wife springing up from the sofa, with a menacing heave of her chest. “What?” ’Kemi bellowed, shocking me a bit with her transformation into a roaring lioness. “You did what, Femi? Spent my money, that I already had plans for?” She began to churn out several strings of words that could communicate her displeasure to a deaf man six streets away, before finally bursting into an incoherent tirade. I sat still and watched my wife, but the effect of my calm demeanour on her, was akin to splashing water into a pan of boiling hot oil. It only infuriated her more. I kept on watched her energetic out pour, till I couldn’t hold my laughter anymore, letting it out so violently, the walls of my stomach appeared to collapse.

Then slowly, it all dawned on ‘Kemi. Her face brightened as she began to laugh as well. I was already pulling the wads Ngozi gave me, to give my wife when she said, “you know liars will burn in hell right?” “So will people who get angry easily about money” I retorted, smiling and sticking my tongue out at her. She responded with what looked like a frown, a smile and a pout all mashed up, as she reached for the nearest pillow to strike me with. I quickly rose up, knocked the pillow off her hands and with a quick jerky movement, pulled her closely into me. The news was still on, but the newscaster’s voice sounded drowned and very far away. We simply stood there closely, in the centre of the living room, in silence, staring into each other’s eyes. ‘Kemi’s breathing got heavier as her eyes slowly began to shut. She looked really beautiful.

 

(Tolu’ Akinyemi, an Architect and writer was born in Akure, Nigeria. He writes flash fiction and poetry that he hopes people who hate poetry would want to love. His well-received debut “Your Father Walk Like a Crab” is available on Amazon in paperback and kindle formats. He blogs at www.poetoria.com)

CAN LOVE EXIST FROM A DISTANCE? (1)

ImageToday we consider another vital ingredient of the perfect love environment; COMPANIONSHIP.
We saw the wisdom of the creator on long distance relationships,When he uttered the words ” it is not good for man to be alone”. In reality loving from a distance has become the dominant mark of this generation,with social networking affairs starting per second every day.

The controversy is this : Should one be in love and put up with being alone? I once had an uncle who traveled abroad leaving his wife and family back in our country for over 20years,never checking up on them at all. All he did was to send money back for their upkeep. Does he have the legitimate authority to call himself the husband of that woman? Can he authoritatively call himself the father of those children? Could we call what he has for them love?

Before I begin to navigate the complex waters of long distance relationships, I must first of all confess that proximity does not necessarily guarantee intimacy. You can be far from someone that is close,and close to someone that is afar,because real distance is of the heart. Some people can draw near to you with their lips and their heart be far from you. In reality you intimacy might be more intense with someone you met with online than a person you are living with.

The second issue is that excessive proximity can trigger overfamiliarity,and familiarity can breed contempt. I often define emotional maturity as the ability to maintain proximity without familiarity. It is the genuine ability to see the awesomeness of someone you are close to. Unfortunately most people don’t have this level of emotional intelligence to be able to maintain intimacy as well as awe for a thing at the same time.Perhaps that is why some opt for the long distance love option.

The third point is that distance can be a valid test of authentic love. Distance can reveal the quality of love, any love that disintegrates with moderate distance is fake. Some travel out to a foreign nation and immediately stop calling or communicating with their lover back home. Such a lover should note that the love shared with the traveling party has expired. As such they should move on with their lives. Never forget my following statement TRUE LOVE ALWAYS FINDS A WAY TO KEEP IN TOUCH.

Having mentioned all of the above we must however highlight that distance can be devastating to love. It is one thing for your partner to travel for a few months, it is another thing for them to have been away for several years. In reality many long distance partners are only holding on to the illusion of who their partner was and not the reality of who their partner is. True love cannot be based on antiquated illusions.

The first challenge of long distance relationships is that it often leads to the development of alternative relationships. The truth is that the partner at a distance has some practical emotional needs. With the absence of their lover,most of them turn to the available friendships to meet some of those needs. Unfortunately the outcome of letting another meet our emotional needs is emotional attachment. Sincerely for a husband to comfortably stay without his wife for a decade or two, I can safely assume that he has developed alternative relationships for the meeting of his sexual needs. In fact some of them have already gotten married and developed alternative families. If most of their needs were not being met in some way,the hunger for satisfaction would have driven them back to their partners. The lovers left behind must wake up and smell the coffee,and decide to live out their lives to the fullest.

Long distance relationships is one of the driving forces for affairs, because it is far easier to love the visible than to love the invisible. A first century theologian made this point when, he said if you cant love a brother you can see,how can you love a God you can’t see. What he meant is that it is far easier to love the tangible than to love the intangible. Unfortunately long distance relationships makes our lover both invisible and intangible. You sure can guess the outcomes.

The second challenge of long distance relationships is that it doesn’t foster accountability. Accountability is one of the pillars of a successful relationship. However there is something about our human nature that finds it easier to be accountable to someone present than someone absent. In fact many people prefer the long distance love model because it gives them the opportunity to live life anyhow, to live life on their own terms. Without any checks and balances that comes from someone who genuinely loves them,such partners self destruct eventually because power is nothing without controls.

The third challenge of long distance relationships is the frustration that comes out of certain basic emotional needs going unmet because of the lack of proximity to their lovers. I know of several wives who have remained loyal to an absent husband for years, while their most basic sexual needs have gone unmet. Some of these people turn to workaholism,extreme commitment to non governmental organizations to numb the deep void and lack of fulfillment that they battle with on a daily bases. Others have had to endure the societal ridicule and rejection that is the badge of being a lover left behind confers on such people. I don’t believe anyone deserves such gnawing pain.

The fourth challenge is that long distance relationships nurture the selfishness in our human nature. When a person has gotten used to living life without their significant other,they tend to become emotionally ingrown,they also develop a negative self sufficiency that makes their partners almost irrelevant in the equation of their lives. This why reunion with a long term,long distance partner is often exciting at first but turbulent eventually. The reason for this turbulence is because both partners would have selfishly grown apart from each other. In most cases their intimacy will be that of two strangers trapped in a cage.

I will conclude this issue of long distance relationships in my next writing. I will also give you guidelines for survival if you ever find yourself in this situation. For now you must be content with the fact that long distance relationships are challenging because it often violates the fundamental law of companionship upon which lasting relationships are built. See you tomorrow.

THE GREATEST IS LOVE!!!
Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global.
Enthronement Assembly Lagos.
lovedynamix@gmail.com
@lovedynamix on twitter
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IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE

If-You-Love-Someone..

Shakespeare:
if you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she ever comes back, she’s yours,
If she doesn’t, here’s the poison, suicide
yourself for her.

Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
Don’t worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she doesn’t comes back within some time forget
her.

Patient:
IF you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she doesn’t come back, continue to wait until
she comes back.

Playful:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
*If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again, repeat*

C++ Programmer:
if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she= new CShe;

Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the
Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that….

Bill Gates:
If you love someone,Set her free,
If she comes back, I think we can charge her for
re-installation fees but tell her that she’s also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist:
If you love someone,
Set her free, She’ll evolve.

Statisticians:
If you love someone, Set her free,
If she loves you, the probability of her coming
back is high If she doesn’t, the Weibull
distribution and your relation was improbable anyway.

Salesman:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she ever comes back, deal!
If she doesn’t, so what! “NEXT”.

Schwarzenegger’s fans:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
SHE’LL BE BACK!

Insurance agent:
If you love someone,
Show her the plan ….
If she ever comes back, sign her up,
If she doesn’t, keep follow up with her and never give up!

Physician:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she ever comes back, it’s the law of gravity,
If she doesn’t, either there’s friction higher than the force or the angle
of collision between two objects did not synchronize at the right angle.

Mathematician:
If you love someone,
Set her free ….
If she ever comes back, 1 + 1 = 2 (peanut!),
If she doesn’t, Y = 2X – log(0.46Y^2 + (cos(52/34X)) x 5Y^(-0.5)c) where c
is the infinite constant of no turning point.

Nowadays’ style:
If You Love Someone,
Set it free,
If It Comes Back, It is Yours
If It Doesn’t, Hunt it Down and Kill It…!!! OR
PERHAPS REPORT TO IMMIGRATION THAT SHE/HE IS AN ILLEGAL

If you love someone:
WHY IN THE FIRST PLACE SET HER FREE???
CARELESS IDIOT!!!

//